| waiting for a down fall... |
[30 Jul 2004|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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you know when everything is all good...no fights...no issues...and all seems as good as chocolate...well choclate gives u zits...or in other words everything goes bad...matt and i started going out on july 4th right...well thats less than a week away...no fights? no issues? and he loves me...has this ever happened b4 in any of my relationships..no ha that was an easy one...so basically im waiting now for our "downfall" i guess...not for us to end buh for us to fight with eachother and disaggree on stuff...its just we r both so laid back we can be fine just layin together watchin tv...like his rents get on his case and he doesnt take it on me...im in a bad mood and i see him and he immediatly knows to hug me and kiss my forehead in that gentle way that makes all my problems blow away...so is this all real..did i meet my everthing or are we just hiding behind puppets of ourselves and they are having that great relationship...i dont know anymore...i love him and i truely do...i just...nothign that good ever seems to stick around that long...or at least stays good....love you all
meg
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| He said he loves me!!!!! |
[29 Jul 2004|12:11am] |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
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Matt and I were tlaking and he was being so sweet cause he came across my journal and I let him read it...he asked me how i was feeling and i was speechless (i know me speechless haha..no i really was!) and the we were just laying inn his bed just looking into eachothers eyes and all...i love that with him...i never have to explain myself or try hard to show off and all...with him im comfortable and its so relaxing and so nice to feel that...anyway i asked him if he had ever loved before and he said yea...i asked how he knew when he was in love and he said he just gets this feeling about the girl and all...the he goes i get that feeling when im with u...i was like does that mean u love me? and he said yea and I told him i loved him too...i could have cried I was so happy buh i think i ended up breaking down later on that day or b4 hand having one of my anxiety attacks and it was pretty bad...he understands my issues and all and is so supportive of me....i truely love him and havent felt like this since James....i think its different tho james was like first love aww puppy type love buh matt is so much more and some...maybe i didnt know love till now...
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| hiya |
[23 Jul 2004|12:03am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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i saw matt today and didnt think i would cuz he was working...it cheered me up a lot cuz i didnt have to explain to him that i was all upset and how im feeling about us and all...it was really goood for me...im falling for this one kids and without my girlies with me i dunno if its good or bad...do i want a serious relationship right when i get down here??? im not sure but no one esle has ever treated me this good...suddenly we r putting play on the L word (no not lesbian lol..love) he told my cat he loves it and then it became a big play cuz i had told his dog i had loved it a while back...(yes we r talking bout pets...u know animals..perves sheesh)so suddenly we r saying "u love my kitty" "well you love my doggy" come on total play on words and im not sure if i should come out wiht how i feel...do I love him? its to soon???..do i really care all that much???...yes of course i do...am i just happy that im finally with one steedy guy instead of 5 guys? DUH lol any girl, would be!!! (or maybe its just me)...buh i told him too when we talked on the phone how stupid it is for couples to say "i love you" and then it turns out they were only going out 2 weeks...look at us we are just bout coming up on a month in a week and a half or so and im alreayd thinking this...is he?? i hate feeling its one sided...it always seems to be...buh i dont want it to be like b4...i told a guy i loved him and he said nothing back for a day and a half...another told me he did for a lil fun...i just want it to be true on both sides for once....for my sanity lol...i need everyone right now so call me whenever any of u read this...
muahz
lovez u all
Skye Davis
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| you know life sux when.... |
[22 Jul 2004|08:10pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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---you close your eyes and see yourself for real
---you just want to shoot yourself out of pity for those who have to deal with you
---you never stop thinking about your special someone
---you start feeling all emo when suckass songs come on
---you feel lonely while laying in bed with that someone
---your version of opening up includes,but not limited to...crying, hugs, laughter, disgrace, and the ever great reasons to take it all back
---your relationship is going great and you wonder if it really is the relationship you yourself is in
---you pity the person who has to deal with you most
---you find stupod reasons to call your someone cause you are bored
---you live in a suckass town where the kids are actually kids and the adults are more like senior citizens
---everyone says you are beatiful and you ask them to tell the truth
---you feel foolish looking for companionship
and most of all
---you can relate to every last thing stated and try to come to terms with it just to figure to cut out the middle man and ...kill yourself
dont worry i wont just im depressed...matt just called and i needa get dressed imma go over by him
luv ya
skye
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| miss you.... |
[16 Jul 2004|09:04pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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I am kinda weiry of how I am feeling...By the way guys I am in Florida and I am trying to have fun...I did alreay get a boyfriend which to most of you is not an amazing new thing figuring I always get them...Anyhow I kinda spilled and told him my "problems" which the majority of my friends already know about and have helped me through...Was spilling good or bad, I don't know yet...It's just since James I haven't really cared about anyone...I finally have found myself missing someone when they leave and happy when they are around...What have I gotten myself into...Matt has had countless girlfriends and all have lasted the first month but only one has made it passed the 3 month and half year hurdles (ended in the 9th month)...I don't just want to be another one of his one month gf's that he won't even think about in a year or so...I really don't want to care about him as much as I do...I am so afraid that I could really fall for this kid just to be dropped...But fear keeps me on my toes...and I always seem to bounce back...that is when I had friends...what to do if this ends and I have no one to turn to...gaah I'm going to go...Matt's on and I find so much comfort in just talking to him :)
~Skye Davis
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| goodbye |
[29 Jun 2004|11:00am] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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i have to do this quit cuz imma cry if i keep up the goodbyes with everyone...2morrow im leaving for florida...i leave behind the best ppl i have ever known and the best city i have ever lived in for a shit state with people who do not recognize good music....i will miss u all and will update once im in florida...good luck and goodbye
i love you all
Shmegan!
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| goodbye |
[21 Jun 2004|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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im leaving soon everyone...im off to florida on june 30th 2004...i may never return or i may find a ways back here...for now i leave u all with my love and hope that everyone flourishes in what they most desire...even to those boys i leave behind...i hope no hard feeling are kept and only the good we once had is remembered...ive lost almost everyones phone numbers that were written on my walls or my bed due to paint and the distruction of my bed...so for those who know my number call me or email me...i have a new address and my friends know it...if anything post here because i have 9 days and counting till i leave my beloved city...
peace in the middle-east
never let love go blind
be true to your friends they will be the only real family you have left in the end
Shmegan...meggles...meg...skye davis....haze
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| boredom.... |
[08 Jun 2004|08:41am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
] |
corey threw me a surprise bday party and i luv him for it...we had so much fun...ppl got kinda messed up lol and the party kept going even after i had to go home at midnight...corey fell off of a table lol....then the day after i went over there and we hung out just us and watched movies and yea.....anywayz his big V is erased off his head now....speaking of such i wanna go to rocky horror again buh no one i know really can stay out that late....nbext saturday im going to a club so ill be out till 5 am isnt that insane...im picking up no doz...i need to l;ose weight...i have since joes been gone and now recently ive been so hungry and have felt so fat....ppl in fl are skinny right? gaah this is hell....corey and i are just gunna stay friends...our relationship is doing really well this way....we are just benificial ppl...i luv it...i have to do my history work and up date my dj...zelia is my dj name
love u all
Skye Davis
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| so lost and falling |
[03 Jun 2004|08:32am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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im seriously falling and once i hit the bottom it is going to hurt..i had a great show 2 nights ago me and andrea saw the offspring...i wanted to go home and c corey....thats what i dont understand...he told emily i was messed up cuz i kissed him....hes such a liar... he kissed me!..and then last night i went over and i was watching rockzilla on fuse..(fuse rox my sox)and his friend came over and when his friend sat next to me he finally came over frm the computer and sat like right on top of me...a humongous couch and i had like no space...hes all like on me...im like okie so are u now gunna tell emily i took ur hand and stared rubbing my arm with it lol....thats y im falling...i know usaully when i say im falling i mean im falling in love buh no not at all...its like a warp im falling through...mass confusion...tho i will be fine in 27 days when i dont have to see him ever again...i can lose contact with every guy ive kissed...been with...loved and even gave the slightest care to...i love it....buh my andrea!...i will miss os so much...addie is going away to college so she will be gone too....dreas left all alone :( i dunt want her to be...thats what makes me sick...i hate having to leave the friends i love...and im falling...
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| nothing really all to new... |
[01 Jun 2004|08:35am] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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i just realized how much not being with chris is annoying me! i think about him when i wake up in the am and before i go to bed i think about corey!...what the hell is wrong wiht me...i cant have chris cuz hes with madeline now the fukin slut she is and corey and i are "just friends" to everyone elses knowledge except well fuk everyone knows weve been screwing aorund jits obvious...yesturday he tangled me up and bent my arm back and said "who the greatest?" and i named everyone in the room and my favorite actors befor ei gave up lol...i put my knee in his crotch and said "now who IS the greatest" and he said he was and beat me after like 5 minutes i think i hurt him! ((opps))i dunno what i c in him...hes supposedly just a friend buh after kissing him a month or so ago things havent been the same....there not exactly better...or worse....things just are
then i read joes journal and hes got a new girl...its sux moving bcause it is impossible to fall in love wiht 29 days left here...i guess im jealous...not that he has a new girl buh that he has the time to put in the effort to fall in love...i wish i could have the same...i also wish he would have put that much effort into me...not to love me bc i never loved him buh to show so much caring as he has for the ppl hes been wiht after me...
im seeing the offspring 2night and that should bring my spirits up...and in some sick way id rather be at coreys watching the guys play basketball (weather permitting---if its downpouring we play it at coreys house on playstation)and i kinda just fall asleep...y would i have more fun there??!?! im so confused and i do this to myslef all the time...i just need someone...or mybe i just need myself to be locked up and away from everyone.......
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| and it's been a while... |
[17 May 2004|08:33am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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i dont know how i am honestly feeling today...shit always seems to hit the fan when i do know how i am feeling so id rather be lost....im not liking the idea of my leaving to florida...i cant be without my friends....or at least the 2 or 3 i consider indisposable...i designed my tattoo for my back its the back of an angel but shes in a black dress and her helo is faded away and her wings have fire and cracks all over them....its me....how i front this pacifist nature on my parents...that i dont hurt anyone with what i do...well its true i dont because for the most part ive been hurting myself with my lies...thats why my wings are cracked and my halo is faded...the fire is from my nature of changing colours...i change my philosophies and likes and dislikes to the likings of others...i hate myself for this...but whatever tomorrow brings ill be there with open arms and open eyes yea...sorry incubus moment there....i just wish i knew who the real me was...not the me when im with my folks...when im with guys..when im with andrea...and when they all come together in one room i am overwhelmed....i am the disposable person in this equation
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| boring... |
[10 May 2004|08:54am] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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I'm in class rihgt now and I am tremendously bored...Saturday Andrea brought me to ABC No Rio...I've never been there before and I had a lot of fun...Keyz came by and we left to meet up with Jill and Spencer....I finally met Spencer after bugging him online so much...LOL...On Friday I went to Jniper Valley with Andrea and Helena came later...We met up with a bunch of people from school and played around for a bit...Then we went into the city to Union Square and we're going again on saturday...Makes decisions hard cause I wanted to go to Red Zone cause New York Ska Exchange will be there and I haven't seen them play since like December of last year....Today I'm picking up Andrea from HSES and then we are going down to Blades to check out boards...I'm excited we decided to learn how to skateboard and it should be fun....I wore boots to school today LOL...I said I broke my other shoes haha....Andrea's going to come over too and she is going to pierce my ears! yay!...well bell is going to ring...xoxox
Megan
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[06 May 2004|09:02am] |
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i burnt the roof of my mouth withbagel bites
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| a yen |
[04 May 2004|08:37am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
i dont think ill ever be able to live again...not how i once was...not as the person i want to be...i want to not care and not cry....i want to hurt myself again and be empty as i once was....now im full of compassion for someone who isnt there...i dont think ill ever be ok...you can have nothing and i can have it all but you will still be the person with intrigue....at times like this it makes me happy that i will get to finally run away frm the ppl i have loved...cared for and loathed all in one...there will be those i miss when i am gone in florida buh i think it is time for me to move on and not look back...how does it make you all feel....i havent expressed myselfto anyone in a long time and all i want to do is lie down and cry....i want to leave this shitty city and move to a place where no one knows me and no one ever will...i want to be alone
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| iced earth! |
[30 Apr 2004|08:24am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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went to the iced earth show at bbkings...so much fun...got a pick buh drea took it buh i dunt really mind shes a bigger fan anyhows....i got 60 days left here woot woot...okie im lieing im not all that excited to move to fl...we met the drummer and lead singer of evergrey the openers and drea and i got them to sign our chest lmao...michelle and hannah were invited onto the tour bus...they didnt go thank god they would have gotten frikin molested lol...my grandpa will be here 2morrow he drove up frm fl...ruins plans cuz g2b home early 2morrow and i got my sats 2morrow too....no staying out late 2night sux....well imma run
p.s. i was real pissed off and shoved the tapers (i think thats what there called) through my ears and imma keep working at it till im down to a 00 hurt bad in my left ear buh now im good...yay! drea will be so happy for me
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| uho0o |
[26 Apr 2004|08:38am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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i dunno what to really say...hold up i need check when i last updated...okie so not much new between then and now....o0okie met up with this guy anthony...haha i almost misspelled his name to say anything....im sleepy...i ouldnt get to bed last night...fuukit go to my deadjournal
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| its been days! |
[25 Apr 2004|11:16am] |
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mood |
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curious |
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well lets see whats been going on....honestly not much...made this bitch eloisa very uncomfortable cuz shes been talking shit about me and i sat right across frm her and made buddy buddy wiht all her freinds...she hated it...i loved it...a bunch of my friends were called out on the 21st for there making of april 20th and cutting school...they all got 5 days detention...thats nothign...sry my spelling isnt the greatest buh im writting pretty fast and kinda early...im going to the mall 2day with andrea...meeting up with her at 3....told corey he was an asshole cuz i was told how he liked me...if he just wanted to mess around u know FWB i woulda been cool with that...charlies a dick to buh i love him...went to red zone with frank hes an ass lol andrea hates him she says he reminds her of billy...so thats a no-no and talked to him 2day he wants his braclet back and to mail it to him lol cuz i was a bitch to him at RZ so we rnt gunna see eachother again....hilarious cuz i lost the fukin braclet the day after i met him...met sean and mike at RZ(prob y frank isnt to pleased) and drea and i flashed the drummer of tub ring....very funny he flashed us his manly self as well...i only got to hear one song and then said goodbye to them and left...sean is hott and he knows it...so is mike buh he might as well be a giant dick cuz thats how he acts...anywayz g2g to the deli for my sis to get breakfast...much love...xoxox
SkYe DaViS
P.S. May meet up with shara one day...andrea and I came up with the conclusion that the both of us are way to good looking for joe lmao....andrea saw her LJ pics....
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| Life just gets more complicated |
[20 Apr 2004|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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I didnt call frank today shit i didnt write bout that..went over by him...yea hes kinda cool i guess...fooled around buh then he got an attitude problem...end of story...i didnt like him all to mjuch..2day i didnt see andrea...i was to tired buh then had nothign to do so wnet down and saw everyone at the basketball courts...i met melissa coreys ex..shes really cool...i think shes the first person i ever met who honestly likes nelson...not likes him buh u knwo is his true friend...anywayzs went up and watched fight club with corey...messed around...which im not minding..i like him alot buh its kinda like okie u gunna pretend this never happened either...well imma go im real tired...i have really bad allergies right now...gaah...omg coreys house rocks he got a new cat tarken and it rocks cuz it slept on me...hes got like 10 different animals!....i wish i did lol....well imma run ttyl xoxox
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| home early... |
[16 Apr 2004|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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im home early kinda sux...drea went home and corey went to his aunts...im going to franks 2morrow it should be fun....talking to joe..were chill now kinda good...i guess...today drea pierced coreys ear lmao...so much fun...yay! and we begin our good times to a parlor
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